Sometimes owning your own business, albeit small, can feel HUGE. The daily tasks tend to swallow you whole. The looming expensive projects drive you to the edge of your sanity. The people consume your heart with joy and love, with equal parts doubt and stress.
I’ve been showing the barn a lot lately to incoming students, and I love meeting new potential boarders. Some I feel an instant connection with, and that’s an amazing feeling to immediately connect with other horsewomen. Others, not so much–I will not always be good enough for some people, and I have matured enough to not let that hurt me.
But I must remind myself that my business isn’t all about fuzzy feelings, or my barn’s popularity.
The fact is, there are electric bills, water bills, the mortgage, and insurance bills to pay. Sheds to rebuild, fences to fix, pastures to be mowed, and hay to be bought and hauled. And that’s just the short of it. 🙂
Tonight, after I laid my baby to bed, I went back outside to stock grain and move hay. To check on each horse in the dark. And God used the smallest way to remind me how beautiful this place is and how special this life is to me, despite the crushing feeling it often gives me. As I got in the gator to head home, I heard the tell-tale mysterious “hoot hoot” of an owl in the distance, and I looked up to see the stars shining brightly, free of city lights. It was a beautiful moment, and I felt a sense of joy and peace that only comes in the quietest of times. The moment would have meant nothing to anyone else, but it meant everything to me. The hardships, the worries, the long days–they are not all for nothing. He has a plan and it is all for a purpose. I am truly blessed to be where I am, and enjoy the experiences He’s allowed me to have. The good and the bad.
And so this grainy picture is special to me now, unbeknownst to me when I took it. (Obvi. Because my dog was being a total weirdo riding on the tip-top of the hay in the gator… ) But, now it’s special 🙂 I’ll never forget the sound of that owl in the trees and the feel of the cool night air on my face as I worked past the time most people quit. I choose to do this job willingly and joyfully with an expectant heart for the future.