Lately, my mind has been under attack by negative thoughts. I’ve dealt with this issue for a long time. I’ve combated it with prayer, solitude, and uplifting advice from people who love me. But the past few days has been harder than usual. There’s no need to go into specifics, because the facts are always the same. Something happens that triggers a waterfall of negative thoughts that send me spiraling into a self-pitying attitude. I try my best to cover it up, so I can focus on my children and my work, but it’s still there lurking beneath the surface.
I’ve been reading from Joyce Meyer daily, and that’s the one thing that seems to break the inner tension. She shares about her personal experience in depression and negativity, and how she’s overcome it. The first thing she teaches is to recognize that your thoughts are your own and you have the power to control them. The second thing is to realize your thoughts are what create your attitude and emotions. Your circumstances cannot make you feel a certain way: that mean comment someone said, the careless way a friend mistreated you-they have no real power over your emotions. Your thoughts are what cause you to feel a certain way. Sure, feeling hurt is the natural response in those situations, but you have the power to change how you feel about them.
Having children also helps me. When I see them innocently and joyfully living their lives, it inspires me to do the same! They live in the here-and-now, whereas I tend to live dwelling on past hurts. When children are hurt, they react viscerally and then forgive immediately, completely forgetting what happened. I want to be more like that. Yes, words people say hurt. Yes, making big mistakes hurts. Yes, yes, yes. But I want to forgive! I want to forgive so I can move on and not live in negativity. Ain’t that the truth. That has become my mantra in this season I’m living in. When my mind is under attack, I ask myself, “Which do you choose today, Allie? Will it be pitiful or powerful?” Taking a step back, examining my circumstances with a larger life-view in mind puts things in perspective for me. I always want to choose “powerful.” There’s nothing I want more than to be a positive, powerful woman of God for my family, for my clients, and for myself.